I spent many years putting on the facade that my life was perfect and I was afraid to show who I truly was. It wasn’t until I realized that the things I spent hiding behind my mask has made me who I am. My experiences, failures, struggles, joys and triumphs are what other people want to know about me. They don’t want the pretend and fake life that everything is perfect because they too have experiences that set them a part and make them unique. We all have a story and when we start to share we get to know some pretty amazing people in the world. Don’t be afraid to be YOU!
If you are not being treated with love and respect, check your price tag. Perhaps you have marked yourself down. It’s YOU who tells people what you are worth by what you accept. Get off the clearance rack & get behind the glass where the valuables are kept! Learn to value yourself, more! If you don’t, no one else will!
Do not judge.
Do not isolate/abandon someone in a bad relationship.
Do not compare your situation or someone else’s situation to others. Every type of abuse escalates. Some are worse than others because it’s been going on longer or just have escalated quicker.
When I finally got away from his clenches, I vowed that I would fight for changes in my life and save myself. I would sit and look in the mirror and pinch myself, touch my face and wonder where did I go? How do I get myself back? How does a 14-year-old girl save herself from hell!
I wrote in my journal over and over again… You are worth it…You are worth it… I did this every day. I would look at those words and something deep inside of me started brewing. I knew one day it would be better. I would live a great life in spite of all that has happened to me. I was determined never to give up!
I went on to live with my grandparents and my sick mother. Life was complicated and hard. I was running from my past demons that I hid from the world, trying to keep my head above water and survive this madness. As time went by, I did just that, I survived. I pushed through high school, and a one-year secretarial program. I was determined to make it.
There were so many bumps and bruises along the way, so many set backs, flash backs fighting my inner demons every single day, but my mind set would always go back to that paper… “I AM WORTH IT”.
I kept on pushing, I kept on going….
I now look back at all that heartache and treachery and what it took for me to get here, and I feel blessed. I am proud of the woman that I have become. It has been a long and winding road, and my husband came along for the ride, blindly supporting me, as he had no clue as to the deep pain inside my head. Those flashbacks, those moments when I felt frozen in time. It felt like I was in a plastic bag that was cloudy and I was fighting my way out as I was suffocating. The pain, OH the pain.
I did seek counseling more than once and I was diagnosed with PTSD. Through out this process I always worked hard at keeping my demons at bay, but that was not the answer. After the death of my father, all the old feeling came rushing back in like a tidal wave, and I had to face them once and for all. Be the fierce warrior that I was meant to be, that was the thoughts in my mind!!
So that is what I did. I faced them all, and battled them down to the ground putting them to rest. In this process of healing I journaled all of my thoughts, memories and feelings. This would later become my book. The Unspoken Truth, A Memoir is a detailed looked into my life from the age of six on up to adulthood. My book was just released in October and I could not be more proud and happy to have made it.
In the process of my writing, I healed. I forgave, and I moved forward leaving that old baggage to the wayside once and for all.
I am now living a full and happy life with my family. Is life hectic? YES it is, we have kids in the house! I have never felt more alive and free in all my life. I am whole, well as whole as I can be. Yes, there will always be that small part of me that will hurt, my battle scars of the past, but I look at them as my personal medal of honor for making it.
Writing my book was my way of giving back, and being that VOICE for those who are still not there yet! I say YET because you can get there, with hard work and dedication to yourself, you can achieve what I have, HEALING.
My name is Lisa Zarcone, and I am a survivor and better yet a thriver!
God Bless all of you on your personal journey to freedom.
As I sit here and reflect back on my life, so many things come to mind! I am a 50-year-old woman, author to my personal memoir, The Unspoken Truth, and a devoted wife, mother of 3 and grandmother of 3.
My husband and I made it together 30 years in marriage and going strong, we have taken on the role of parents to two of our grandchildren 8 and 4. My life is filled with so many incredible things that I can cry just thinking about it, because it has been a long and torturous road to get here.
When I was a young girl I was faced with so many horrors I could not find my way out of the madness for years. Image at the age of six watching your nine-year-old brother die from Leukemia, and seeing your mom who was already fragile from her battle of mental illness totally fall apart. Yes that was my reality that I was faced with, and the beginning of my nightmare.
After the death of my brother my little world fell apart, and there was nothing I could do about it. My father fled in despair and anger, as he lost both his wife and son on the same day. My mother emerged as a monster at times. Sadly, she was bi-polar with schizophrenic tendencies, with mania and deep dark depression. It was back in the 70’s when mental illness was frowned upon and it was a no tell culture. Everything in the home was private. As children we were taught to never speak of what was happening behind closed doors.
I lived in what I called the house of horrors for years, many of them alone with my mother. The daily torture she imposed on me was hideous, twisted and quite truthfully unbelievable. When I read back my own story I still cringe at times to think wow this is real! This really happened to me!
Fast forward a few years, I was about twelve years old, my dad finally left. He was hardly ever home anyways, always working, always running. When he made it official my mom took another turn for the worst as she took herself off all medications, and the abuse went from bad to worse. I was forced to endure continual abuse, day in and day out. I was a lost and lonely little girl. I was damaged and sad. My dad did not take me with him, and my family didn’t want to step in, so I was forced to live in a situation that was like out of a horror movie.
My mother would bring in many misfits to our home. The homeless bums on the street and young teen boys were her favorite, as she always wanted mania and dysfunctional company. They were always lurking and looking to prey upon me. Then one day a young man came back into our neighborhood after years of being away, and my mom befriended him. He was a 15-year-old troubled boy, who managed to get into our house, by telling my mom he had Leukemia like my brother! That was the ticket and his opportunity to claim me as his own.
This young man was as sick and twisted as they came, and him and my mother fed off of each other’s sick energy. It didn’t take long before the beatings and rapes occurred. The countless acts of abuse that we bestowed upon me were of the most hideous kind. This was something I endured for two years. I can go on and on about what was done to me, but what I will say is this, it was the worst, sadistic kind of abuse that one could think of and more.
Lisa Zarcone, Author of The Unspoken Truth, A Memoir.