Broken and Beautiful

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“We are all shattered in one way or another. We are all incomplete, missing pieces here and there. But we are all beautiful. In fact, we are more beautiful because of it. Who wants polished perfection that belies the truth of what’s inside when you can have the raw power of beauty that’s broken because it has lived and loved and lost and carried on in spite of it all? Be broken and be beautiful.”

Scars to your Beautiful….

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It is exhausting to fight a war in your head every single day. I tried for so long to disguise my pain. I felt so much guilt behind my shame. I would spend every day criticizing everything about myself from my weight, to the size of clothes I wore, to the wrinkles on my forehead down to not so perfect nail polish on my toes. All this dissatisfaction stems from how I have perceived myself since I was a young girl. I tried to cover up my pain by becoming something that I thought everyone else wanted me to be. All I wanted was to feel beautiful and not what was done or told to me. Even after all these years I still struggle with these thoughts of trying to be this perfect woman. I find myself once again criticizing every ounce of what makes me, me. I have scars seen and unseen from my past and how I got those scars play a huge role in how I have learned to see myself. However every day I am learning to embrace those scars because they truly are what make me beautiful. Yes, scars can be painful. Scars may seem anything but pretty but there is more good found in scars than we realize. The scars that remain from an unkind word or scars left on the heart after an emotional battle give us strength even when we don’t feel strong. The lasting scars of hurtful memories or painful moments give us a heart of compassion and a love that can’t be found anywhere else. Despite the scars from my past, despite how ugly they have made me feel I know my scars both physical and emotional are truly what make my inner and outer beauty shine. I am no longing staying in bondage to those scars but I am setting myself free and using my scars as weapons to succeed.

I am Free

God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, but I was at my breaking point and I knew I couldn’t handle much more. I was broken in more ways than one. I was so fragile physically the bruises never seemed to have time to heal before another beating occurred. Sometimes my skin would hurt so bad even wearing clothes was painful. Mentally I was exhausted from fighting and wanted more than anything for some peace instead of despair. I lost sight of who I was.  He stifled everything about me and broke me down until nothing was left. I was frozen in fear and had no clue what direction to go. Freedom seemed out of reach and only a dream. That is exactly how he wanted me. He didn’t want me to have the strength to fight. It was his goal to destroy me. When I finally made the choice to leave and decided that I was worth being safe and happy, the beauty within my empty shell of a person started shining through. I finally saw the small glimmer of hope. I realized that the broken ashes of despair were slowly disappearing and the freedom I longed for was finally in reach.

Written by: Memoirs of a Broken Woman (Book Excerpt)

Lest We Forget