How many people do you engage with on a daily basis? How many of those people are smiling outward, but on the inside it is a different story? Maybe there are dealing with pain, anger, abuse, abandonment, suicide, depression, anxiety, sadness, hate, resentment or loss of hope. All the emotional turmoil neatly tucked away to a deep hidden sacred place. Where they will do anything to protect their facade with a smile while their heart and soul are so broken.
We all have been there one time or another in our life. I spent many years hiding behind a smile. When someone would approach me and ask how my day ways my famous words were, “I’m fine” followed by a smile. I would cheerfully reply with such a heavy heart and my eyes still stinging from crying the night before. My response was in no way meant to be misleading or dishonest however it was a means of preservation, protection and control.
It is very common in our society today to associate crying and pain with weakness. That it’s not okay to ask for help. I was blessed to have amazing women in my life in the midst of my hell. Those friends took the time to read between the lines of, “I’m Ok.” For so many they don’t have the support or friends to read between their lines. We have to make it our mission to look for those that are hurting, who may feel they are not seen or heard. You can learn a lot about someone even a perfect stranger just by their demeanor and body language.
We have to learn to read between the lines. I didn’t realize until many years after I had left my ex-husband that my friends became better than any FBI agent. They had serious skills! Not only would they stalk my house in the late hours of the night but they picked up on the clothes I would wear and from the words I would say. The black dress resembled the pain I had endured the night or nights before. I couldn’t wear jeans or a form fitting blouse after a night of being beat because my skin would hurt as the clothing would brush against my skin. I resorted to wearing this black dress I had because it was flowy and it wouldn’t rub up against my skin. My friends would soon come to Hate that dress. Yet the never once judged me for going back day after day. For years they continued to read between the lines.
God has a plan for all of our lives. Maybe that plan consists of paying attention to those around you, to those that are close to you, to your co-workers or friends of your children. You never know what someone is going through until you take some time to read between the lines and be observant. When we care and love one another it becomes a natural instinct to want to protect. I am so grateful for the two very important women in my life that took that time and gave me a safe place to land.
Remember, it’s scary what a smile can hide. Look underneath the facade and be someone’s rainbow on their cloud.
“Be a Rainbow in someone else’s cloud, no matter who they are.” -Maya Angelou
I used to be an expert on putting on the facade that everything in my life was great. I made sure that my outer appearance was always well put together from my hair and makeup down do my stylish heels. It was as though I piled on the layers to hide the real truth. I wore my “mask” to hide the bruises, the fear, the shame and the guilt. Once I completely stripped away the facade, I was left with just an empty shell until I allowed God to show me my beauty through His eyes.
I challenge you today to strip away your masks and let your true beauty of who you are be revealed and let it shine.
You are beautiful, You are worthy, You are loved and You deserve to be treated with love and respect!
I am a mother, wife and friend. I am currently married to my best friend and I am a domestic violence survivor! I was in an abusive marriage for 10 years until I found the courage to leave. Through my struggles to find freedom, my battle with Anorexia and being a single mom I can now say that I survived! I made it! It took me many years to find my own inner strength and my self-worth but piece by piece God restored the brokenness within me.
My story is very common but often not talked about. Today I can sit here with a spirit of gratefulness, grateful to be alive. So many stories like mine don’t end with a happy ending. My goal by starting this page is to help other women by sharing my own story of despair and hope. I truly believe that when women encourage and support each other we build an army of women that can make a difference.
If you are not being treated with love and respect, check your price tag. Perhaps you have marked yourself down. It’s YOU who tells people what you are worth by what you accept. Get off the clearance rack & get behind the glass where the valuables are kept!
Learn to value yourself, more! If you don’t, no one else will!
Thank you to all the women who have already shared their stories with me I am humbled and honored.
If you would like to share you story please email me at:
I am thankful for the woman I have become because of the journey I have walked through.The strength, courage and qualities I have found within myself through the process of the journey is unparalleled to what I ever even knew existed. An outcome that I would never have sought after but have found beauty within its findings.
There was a time in my life when there was no way, shape or form in which I could understand the idea that there is beauty in pain, grief and even depression.
Once I decided to let go of what was no longer serving me and let go of the parts of myself that were no longer in alignment with who I am it allowed me to be carried by the strength of my loving Heavenly Father.
I am grateful for the strength and courage I found through the process of my pain. By no means has it been easy and undoubtedly encompassed with mixed emotions of fear, guilt, shame and anger.
However, there is a light, ever so dimly, waiting to be uncovered by each one of us in our own darkness. It is in this singular hope that we need to continue to search for the beauty within the pain, even in the darkest hours.
We all have scars that delicately tell of our journey that has shaped us. Embrace your scars today!
My scars of abuse have always felt unique and made me feel very isolated in my pain. I no longer felt like a person but rather the problem. I was confused about what was normal and used a variety of defense mechanisms to get through life. I responded to the abuse I endured through anxiety, self-harm, perfectionism, the need to control, anorexia, through fear of intimacy as I became an adult and lack of self-worth. Abuse distorted my image of God and affected my ability to seek and trust Him. My confidence was shattered.
My healing began once I realized that as long as I continued to gaze inward, I would always see my scars, but when I gaze on Jesus, I see His scars and remember He died to make me whole again. I finally understood that I could trust the One who loved me completely.
It took me awhile to get there, though. For years, I felt the need to hide the shame and pain I felt. The most astounding changes came as I learned to trust Him with my past hurts. It wasn’t until I knew the One who gave me my eternal name that I would know my true self. For far too long I let the voice of condemnation darken the light in my soul.
My relationship with the Lord has grown immensely but it hasn’t always been easy. I questioned God for a long time and wondered why He would have me endure so much pain at the hands of men who were supposed to love me. I’ve had many questions, and my heart screamed for answers. I felt abandoned in my pain. The truth is Satan wants us to believe God is not good and does not care, but our Father God is never blind to the sins that hurt His people. He grieves over all sin and hates it. Sometimes the Lord deals directly with others’ sinful behavior against us; other times, it’s just not time yet. In mercy, God gives even the most evil among us opportunities to turn to Him and repent. We are not immune to evil, there is no pain free life, and evil will find its way in. God works in incredible ways through tragedy but He does not orchestrate it. Believe and trust, let God bring you through and conquer those demons of your past. He can and He will do that.