Some days I reminisce to those dark and gloomy days of defeat and despair. The difference is today I now can look back on those times with a spirit of gratefulness. My life could have drastically turned out so differently on so many levels. I can’t even put into words the gratitude I feel towards the people that God so strategically placed in my life and still does.
Being in the line of work that I am, I now see the other side of what abuse does to families. Domestic Violence does not only affect the victim but the children and other family and friends that are aware of the abuse. Looking back now I can’t imagine being in my friend’s shoes feeling completely helpless and frustrated. I am one of the lucky ones who had people wanting and helping me seek a way to freedom and safety. During those times my biggest fear was losing my children little did I know then that my children could have easily been taken from me had I not left. So many decisions I was faced with at such a vulnerable and chaotic time. My focus during those years was just to make it through the day.
The light at the end of the tunnel seemed so far out of reach and that no matter how hard I tried and wanted it I could not grasp it. When the time came and I made the choice to leave the light didn’t get any closer it simply was always there I just needed to walk through it.
Leaving my abusive marriage was the scariest and most unpredictable time of my life. I couldn’t make a decision for myself, I was so broken down and lacked any ounce of confidence. However, I did make it, I did survive and I am here to tell about it. I urge anyone who is in an abusive relationship of any kind to seek help, to confide in someone you trust and stay safe!