This is a new journey for me, I don’t know a thing about blogging but I will learn as I go. My reason for starting this blog is to not only share my own experiences with domestic violence but to help others that have either been or are currently in a situation where domestic violence is present. I am in no way an expert or a qualified person to give advice but I have endured 10 years of abuse at the hands of a man that I once called my husband. My hope is to reach out to others and to give a voice to those who feel like they don’t have one. I am just an ordinary woman with an extraordinary story. Currently I am in the process of writing my book titled, “Memoirs of a Broken Woman.” However I am choosing to remain anonymous for the sake of my children. It is my story, my life, my scars and it is me. I can finally say that I am on the road to healing. Every day is a new day and I am grateful for every struggle, triumph, tear and smile. I am a different woman today. This is just my way of trying to make a difference!
It’s not just one storm, though, that helps a tree grow deeper and stronger where it stands. It’s several storms over time, a series of torrents and gusts. All of this rooting and growing in the face of heavy weather protects a tree from simply blowing over. And, it prepares a tree for the storms yet to come.
Just because a tree remains standing, however, doesn’t mean it isn’t damaged. Lightning strikes, for example, almost always leave scars. A tree may be alive and well—a survivor—yet bear marks that never fully fade.
We are a lot like trees. Dark times can damage us so deeply that even though we’re still physically here, we can’t imagine a time when we will feel fully recovered. After the storms of our own life, we may wonder if our bodies, minds or souls will ever be the same again.
Some storms pass quickly; others take years. Waiting for a long storm to pass takes a toll on the spirit, even when you know those skies will eventually clear. Often we aren’t even aware of a storm’s full impact until after the fact, when we have the visibility to sort out all the damages.
Rainbows appear in the sky only after the clouds clear. A rainbow is a symbol of promise, a beautiful reminder of the gifts yet to come.
Pain has purpose. Pain is a signpost. Pain is a gift that you give yourself when something very important is crying out for your attention. Embrace your pain as a sign that there is still room for more joy in your life. No matter what you have experienced. Don’t hesitate a moment longer to feel this pain. For one day it will be gone. It’s power will diminish. Embrace, so that you may let go. Look, so that you never again have to look away. There is so much beauty in even the darkest of rooms, but you must spend time there in order to let your eyes adjust to the light. And when you can see all that is around you, you will be able to find the door, open it, let the warmth pour in, and let your innocence back out into the light. It is when we truly learn this message that we are able to release this pain once and for all.
Let your Mess be your Message.
Beautiful Little Girl ~
I see a beautiful little girl with a smile on her face,
She soon would find out her fate.
Oh that beautiful smile how it lit up a room
It’s covered up now with a heart of gloom.
I can sense her fear, all that’s left our drops of tears.
I can see her trembling all alone, all she can do is quietly moan.
I can see the terror in her eyes, all that is heard is her painful cries.
She desperately wants to hide from the shame because all she feels is the blame.
She doesn’t know how to fight the demons in her head instead she runs and hides underneath her bed.
The day her life changed her body laid there frail and pained.
As they each took a turn her body was lifeless like a rag doll being tossed around for their gain.
Her spirit has now been forever changed.
All tattered and bruised her heart will never be the same.
Precious one I tell you don’t let them dim your beautiful flame.
Your smile will one day replace your shame and
You will never have to play those evil games.
Beautiful little girl I hear your moans, I look back now and see that you are all grown.
Beautiful little girl I hear your cries, baby look up and see the sunrise.
Beautiful little girl don’t lose your faith because one day you will see your heavenly prize.
Beautiful little girl I love so, I’m sorry that I left you I just couldn’t cope.
Beautiful little girl I hoped I would find you, because beautiful little girl I am you.
I am realizing through my own vulnerability and story I am showing my greatest strength. For far too long I had felt weak and unsure of my path. I spent many years putting up walls around my heart to prevent me from being hurt again. As a broken woman I did everything possible to guard all that I had left in me but in that process I no longer could see the light that was being reflected off the walls I had built. My greatest healing has come from letting go of the weight and armor I had so tightly wrapped around my heart. I’ve learned to use those feelings I kept hidden for so long to teach me to accept those broken pieces about me that I was ashamed to expose. There is no shame in courage and we all our courageous.
Throughout my whole life I have always associated vulnerability with pain and weakness but now I see it as healing and empowerment. In our pain we lose sight of the beauty in our own imperfections. Our moments of struggle have made us who we are. I want to encourage women to write about what has kept them in bondage to shame and to share their stories with others. We have so much power in our own stories that give opportunities for others to heal.
In light of October being Domestic Violence Awareness Month I am challenging the Memoirs of a Broken Woman Community to build awareness and take action around ending domestic violence. You can do this in 3 ways: Speak Out Against Domestic Violence on all social media platforms, Share Your Story, or Wear Purple. Please feel free to take a picture of yourself wearing purple and post here (you do not need to show your face). If you would like to share you story privately please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will post it anonymously.
This challenge will last the entire month of October. Let’s turn this page into an amazing and powerful platform of incredibly testimonies of courage and bravery. My goal is to get at least 300 pictures of strong and beautiful women wearing purple. Help me reach that goal!!!
Sharing our story sets us free!
When we share our stories, we help each other heal.
Together we can make a difference!!