The beginning of a new Journey!

This is a new journey for me, I don’t know a thing about blogging but I will learn as I go. My reason for starting this blog is to not only share my own experiences with domestic violence but to help others that have either been or are currently in a situation where domestic violence is present. I am in no way an expert or a qualified person to give advice but I have endured 10 years of abuse at the hands of a man that I once called my husband. My hope is to reach out to others and to give a voice to those who feel like they don’t have one. I am just an ordinary woman with an extraordinary story. Currently I am in the process of writing my book titled, “Memoirs of a Broken Woman.” However I am choosing to remain anonymous for the sake of my children. It is my story, my life, my scars and it is me. I can finally say that I am on the road to healing. Every day is a new day and I am grateful for every struggle, triumph, tear and smile. I am a different woman today. This is just my way of trying to make a difference!

Advertisements

Let go of the Shame…

“We need never be ashamed of our tears.” ― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations (1)

The shameful nights I hope to forget someday will disappear
there will be no more tears.
What was once taken from me is taken no more.
My soul is bleeding, the pain is too heavy to bare.
Lord I need you to soften my heart and break me a part, I need you.
Please reshape my life
I surrender all my pain and my shame
I give it all to YOU.
I will trust YOU in the process.
I give you my life I am broken inside.
I know YOU can mend my soul
Cleanse me from the inside out
Wipe away ever tear, I know you are good.
Others may fail but God you will never fail me
With open arms and open heart you called me in
and I came running.

 

 

Pain Has A Purpose

The Greatest platform you will ever stand on is YOUR LIFE!

Pain has purpose. Pain is a signpost. Pain is a gift that you give yourself when something very important is crying out for your attention. Embrace your pain as a sign that there is still room for more joy in your life. No matter what you have experienced. Don’t hesitate a moment longer to feel this pain. For one day it will be gone. It’s power will diminish. Embrace, so that you may let go. Look, so that you never again have to look away. There is so much beauty in even the darkest of rooms, but you must spend time there in order to let your eyes adjust to the light. And when you can see all that is around you, you will be able to find the door, open it, let the warmth pour in, and let your innocence back out into the light. It is when we truly learn this message that we are able to release this pain once and for all.

Let your Mess be your Message.

Take the Challenge!! “Label” Detox

53761219_10214668786332840_5707291747109830656_o

A challenge for every woman:

Letting go of the labels that torment you…

I spent many years being buried beneath my shame and scars. I have fought and sometimes still fight the voices in my head telling me that I’m not good enough or that I am a failure. The somber part of this exercise was realizing how much I have been plagued by these labels. As I wrote down each and every toxic label I attached myself to it became so effortless to write down. If anything I could have written pages and pages. As soon as I challenged myself to eliminate those horrible words and replace them with the words that God speaks over me I had to pause and think. It took me a lot longer to think of those positive and truthful words. I even skipped words and came back to them. I now can recognize how much I devalued my worth based on someone else’s toxic words. It hindered my ability to see the truth of who God created me to be. With every negative word that I crossed out in red pen I felt myself taking my power back more and more. Once I was done I felt so free and liberated from those chains. I even went a step further and burned that piece of paper as a symbol of my new found power and freedom.

I am thankful for my scars and the life lessons that my past has taught me.Those negative labels I have given myself merely have robbed me of my joy, confidence, love, trust, peace and healing. I’ve allowed those labels to torment me for many years. Through my faith I have learned that long before I was chosen by God I was targeted by the enemy not because of who or what I’ve been but because of who and what I will become. As I grow, heal and let go of the chains of my past I can stand firm and believe that I am worthy, accepted and strong. I am enough, I am deserving, I am capable and I am loved.

I no longer will be afraid every time I face the waves that life throws at me, I will not fear the storm just because I hear it roar. I know now that I can face the giants in my life with confidence because I know who I am in the one who created me. I know this won’t be the last time I struggle with labels and toxic words but I feel like now I have been intentional to not allow them to penetrate my spirit the way I have let them in the past.

I am at a place in my life where I am extremely thankful to be alive. I am growing and learning more about myself every single day. I am chasing my dreams. I am experiencing things I never thought I would and feeling things I never thought I could.
Imagine a world where ALL the women let go of the labels and embrace who God calls them to be..
As I work towards being my authentic self the stronger I become in who He says I am.

If you feel so compelled to do this same exercise upload a picture of your list with the “labels” that you or someone else has given you crossed out in red pen and replace those words of positive, truthful and what/who God calls you. Upload it to instagram and tag @memoirsofabrokenwoman or facebook https://www.facebook.com/MemoirsofaBW/ Lets come together as a community of women and let go of the chains that bind us and walk in freedom knowing that our creator has given us our true name! #nomorelabels #findingfreedom #takeyourpowerback #fight#youareawesome

We are all Scarred Beautiful…..

The Vault

Finding a new home can be difficult. It doesn't have to be.

The Vault…
I am thankful for my scars and the life lessons that my past has taught me. Throughout my life I’ve had to walk through treacherous valleys and jagged rocks. From a very young age I learned to trust no one and put up a wall that I vowed to never let anyone in. Inside my soul is a vault that holds pain, shame, guilt, tears, brokenness, labels I’ve given to myself (worthless, rejected, dirty, weak, scarred, ugly, despised, failure, scorn, useless) and memories that I wish I could erase. I’ve kept that vault locked and sealed thinking that would keep me safe but in reality it has only kept me in bondage and has prevented me from finding true and pure freedom in the one who created me. Those negative labels I have given myself merely robbed me of my joy, confidence, love, trust, peace and healing. I’ve allowed those labels to torment me for many years. I went through a period of time cutting myself to try and lessen the pain. I starved myself daily wanting to erase the memories that are seared in my mind, in all honesty at times I still do. The knotted rope that has kept me in bondage to the hurt is starting to unravel. Each piece that breaks free begins to loosen the vault inside me.
Fear and shame have crippled me, abandonment has scarred me, the demons from my past have haunted me, the lies have defeated me but I stand firm and say Not Today!
I will not be ashamed, I am not what was spoken to me, I am not what was done to me. I have been washed cleaned. I found You in the middle of my mess. You called me and I came running. My heart and soul were shattered yet You picked up all the broken pieces and made me whole. You have called me chosen, You have called me beautiful, You have called me a child of God. I am worthy, accepted, clean, strong and I am scarred beautiful. I am enough, I am deserving, I am capable and I am loved. Not loved by my earthy father but by the Father who wove me together in my mother’s womb. Though the scars and memories will still remain they simply are a reminder of the battles I’ve won. I can stop running from who I’ve been and embrace Who’s I am, God I belong to you!!

Storms of life…

19665420_1352898011454111_1067155918112558883_n

It’s not just one storm, though, that helps a tree grow deeper and stronger where it stands. It’s several storms over time, a series of torrents and gusts. All of this rooting and growing in the face of heavy weather protects a tree from simply blowing over. And, it prepares a tree for the storms yet to come.

Just because a tree remains standing, however, doesn’t mean it isn’t damaged. Lightning strikes, for example, almost always leave scars. A tree may be alive and well—a survivor—yet bear marks that never fully fade.

We are a lot like trees. Dark times can damage us so deeply that even though we’re still physically here, we can’t imagine a time when we will feel fully recovered. After the storms of our own life, we may wonder if our bodies, minds or souls will ever be the same again.

Some storms pass quickly; others take years. Waiting for a long storm to pass takes a toll on the spirit, even when you know those skies will eventually clear. Often we aren’t even aware of a storm’s full impact until after the fact, when we have the visibility to sort out all the damages.

Rainbows appear in the sky only after the clouds clear. A rainbow is a symbol of promise, a beautiful reminder of the gifts yet to come.

Stand Tall!

The Greatest platform you will ever stand on is YOUR LIFE!

Pain has purpose. Pain is a signpost. Pain is a gift that you give yourself when something very important is crying out for your attention. Embrace your pain as a sign that there is still room for more joy in your life. No matter what you have experienced. Don’t hesitate a moment longer to feel this pain. For one day it will be gone. It’s power will diminish. Embrace, so that you may let go. Look, so that you never again have to look away. There is so much beauty in even the darkest of rooms, but you must spend time there in order to let your eyes adjust to the light. And when you can see all that is around you, you will be able to find the door, open it, let the warmth pour in, and let your innocence back out into the light. It is when we truly learn this message that we are able to release this pain once and for all.

Let your Mess be your Message.